HeyEmmie

I wish I could push my stomach out through my belly so I could eat clams like you do.

So by now maybe you know that I have a new job that involves going out on a boat with students.  Since it is still so cold out on the water, I have to shake my head when teenagers show up completely under-dressed wearing a t-shirt and then complain that they are cold. I mean if I’m cold wearing a sweatshirt, two coats, a hat, hood, glove liners, rubber gloves, heavy jeans, a double layer of socks, rubber boots and rubber overalls all over long underwear, they must be freezing.

I mean I bet even Sarah Palin would know to wear a coat.  Especially since she can see Russia from her house (I don’t think that will ever get old, no matter how low-brow it is) and we all know Russia is cold.  It is weird to me that kids will choose fashion over comfort; either that or they just don’t care.

I have to say though, regardless of their clothing choices, the teenagers I have experienced thus far have been remarkably well behaved and seemed to be genuinely interested in their boat trip.

more animals

I hate applying to jobs online.  First, you have to create a stupid account, which is really annoying.  Then you have to fill out all these little fields with things like your previous employers, skills, education information…all of which is contained in your cover letter and resume, but since your potential future employer is either woefully understaffed or too lazy to read those even though they want you to have written them, you need to put all your information into an online form so a program can do all the hard work for them.  I’ve even been on sites where I’ve had to re-enter all of my information to apply to multiple jobs.

And then there are the questions that are supposedly going to weed out all the bad candidates, such as:

Do you have reliable transportation? Yes.  It is a broomstick.  Notice they never ask if you have reliable transportation from work.

Would you be able to fulfill the attendance requirements of this position? As long as I can bring a six-pack and my broom is working.

Do you have child-care arrangements? I don’t have children and if I did I would just lock them in a closet while I was at work.  Also, it is illegal to ask this.

I was supposed to have a job interview today, but the HR people called to say they were indefinitely postponing filling the position I was applying to. Probably not a good sign.  It would have been a cool place to work, too.

Since I don’t work there anymore, here are some pictures of where I used to work.

This was my lab bench.  In the foreground is some stuff I was working with to make a tooth-whitener.  The blue thing is a lightening mixer. In the background you can see the office (”the cave”) where my desk was.

And these are some of the chemicals we used in the lab. Blech.

Don’t get yourself in a kerfuffle.

I went to pick up the rest of my stuff and say goodbye to everyone at my old job today, since I missed my last day.  They made a cake for me! You can’t see, because it was on the half that’s been eaten, but it said “no more toothpaste for dinner”. (Visit: toothpaste for dinner) Very cute.

I’m going to miss my good co-workers, but I’m happy to be moving on.

So today I gave my two-weeks notice at my job. It has gotten so stressful and I am so anxious about work that it is making me physically sick. If I’m at work it means I feel like I’m going to throw up.  If I’m not at work, it means I’m dreading going back tomorrow or after the weekend. So I thought quitting would be good for my health.

Of course people want me to stay.  The VP basically tried to scare me into staying.  I’ve been offered to switch departments, work part-time, anything just please please stay.  I’m supposed to think about it over the weekend, bla bla bla.  I have to clear my mind first, but my inclination is to say “no, goodbye”.

I’m still alive, just a bit stressed out about things.

I had a job interview at a REAL company today and I am thisclose to quitting my current job. I had planned a 1/2  vacation day today, but I decided I didn’t want to go into work at all…so I didn’t.

Didn’t looks funny and my spell-checker is telling me it is wrong.  Did I correctly contract “did not”? I’m not sure if I’ll be able to sleep tonight if I don’t find out. The saddest part about that last sentence is that it’s true.

I shouted out to the night: “Give me what I deserve, ’cause it’s my right”.

Today, for about the billionth time, the VP of my company blamed me for not entering all the pertinent information about a formula into our formulation database. ALL of the information is ALWAYS THERE at ALL TIMES even if you are retarded and can’t read what is right in front of you on your monitor.

So instead of getting her the information she needed, I wrote her an e-mail detailing how she could find the information herself. It was probably too detailed. Even a drunk monkey would have been able to follow along with my instructions. And then I went home.

It won’t change anything, but it sure made me feel better.

Last week, my co-worker (one I actually like) was developing some pet toothpastes. Since he’s away this week on National Guard duty, I inherited his project because our VP is hot for it. I was quite surprised when today all the flavor and odor had faded from a paste that on Friday reeked of filet mignon. So I made filet mignon, pizza, and spaghetti & meatball flavored toothpastes this morning.

Today was the greatest day of my life.